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Reflective Essay: My Greatest Weakness

Every one of us has weaknesses, and so do I – quite many, in fact. But out of them all, I believe the greatest one is my lack of self-confidence. I don’t know how I came to have this low self-esteem, but I do know it is a problem I absolutely have to fix. Upon reflecting quite a while on this matter, I understand it is a flaw in my personality that is needlessly complicating my life on many levels and often hinders my development, both personally and professionally.

First of all, my lack of self-confidence too often leads to a lack of trust in others. Many times, I found myself suspecting others of having hidden agendas when offering their friendship or help, or making a kind gesture. “Why would they want to help me?” “Why would they want to have a coffee with me? They must be after something!” I know I not only missed many opportunities this way, but, most importantly, that I may have hurt good people because of this way of thinking.

Paradoxically, even though my self-confidence issues make me not trust others, when I do let people in, I start relying on them too much. Since I don’t believe in myself to find my own happiness, I tend to turn to others to fulfill that role for me. Thinking about this objectively, I understand I sometimes put too much pressure on others or burden them excessively, because I don’t trust my interior strength and my own judgment.

Mix the two above-mentioned ingredients together, add some spices, and you get a nice dish of troubles in your romantic relationships. Because of my trust issues, low self-esteem and emotional dependence on my partner, I constantly needed reassurance and I started many unnecessary fights. Luckily, I have an understanding partner and he still puts up with me, in spite of all this. I, too, have been doing my best to overcome these issues since I became aware of them, and I now try to view our relationship more objectively, more trustfully. However, sometimes, that crazy little leprechaun in my had still comes out to play.

Now, my self-doubt doesn’t affect only my relationship with others – it affects me, individually, as well. Because of this weakness of mine, I often give up on my self-development goals, thinking that I’m never going to accomplish them anyway. For instance, I started a 30-day home yoga challenge to get into shape and lose some weight. It’s been 3 months, and I’m on day 10 with the program. I think the facts speak for themselves.

Likewise, I’ve lost many job opportunities because I simply didn’t have the motivation or the courage to take action at the right moment – or even to complete a job application. “I’m going to fail anyway. Why put myself through this?”; “I’m not good enough.”; “I do have the skills, but the competition is much better than me. I don’t have a chance.” – and so on and so forth. It’s not laziness, as many might imagine. It’s just fear – most of the times silly, but still fear.

All in all, after extensive soul-searching, I realize that my self-doubt is my greatest weakness of them all, because it is a brick wall I keep hitting in all aspects of my life, be them personal or professional. Lack of self-confidence makes one suspicious of others, it hurts relationships, it hurts people, it hinders one’s development, and it simply complicates everything. Acknowledging the existence of a problem is a huge step towards solving it, and I will keep working on it until I demolish that brick wall – or banish the crazy little leprechaun in my head, if the metaphor feels more appropriate.

Contributors Bio

Contributor photo Lona Glenn
Los Angeles
Lona graduated from Los Angeles City College. While being a lecturer in several high school institutions Lona founded an online educational project Tutorsclass.Read more
Contributor photo Maria Castle
Davis, CA
I studied education and currently work as a tutor for school-age children. I've worked as a volunteer in many different international social projects and as a camp counselor every summer.Read more

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